Is Divorce a Virus? The Social and Seasonal Forces of Divorce Contagions
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While it may seem exaggerated, experts and studies say divorce can spread just like a disease through social groups. But are there social and seasonal patterns that could affect the future of your marriage?
With the start of Fall and changing temperatures comes the official countdown for cold and flu season. Every year, it happens. One person comes down with a cold or cough, and before you know it, the rest of the office or the entire family has it.
Does divorce work the same way? Some sociologists have begun looking into divorce patterns among families and other close-knit social networks (both offline and online) to find out why when one family or social network member announces his or her divorce, it’s likely that within a year, other members of the same social group will follow suit. In other words, is divorce contagious?
The family used as a prime example of this “divorce virus” phenomenon is none other than Al and Tipper Gore and their children. If you recall, the former Vice President and his wife stunned the nation in 2010 when it was announced they were ending their 40 year marriage. However, this wasn’t the first divorce in the Gore family. Just one year earlier, their daughter Kristin Gore filed for divorce from her husband Paul Cusack. And it wasn’t the last divorce, either. Just one week after Tipper and Al announced their split, eldest daughter Karenna Gore Schiff, announced that she had separated from husband Andrew Schiff after 13 years of marriage.
Analyzing data from 5,000 people, a research team made up of scientists from UC San Diego, Harvard, and Brown universities say there are several reasons why divorces can create ripple effects or patterns within families or social networks. For example, when a divorced person confides in someone married, the married person gains knowledge about the benefits and drawbacks of divorce, and how exactly the process works. (In their study, interestingly, most people actually cited the benefits of getting divorced rather than drawbacks.)
It may also be the case that when a coworker, friend, or family member announces their divorce, it brings the topic into sharper focus. Just like attending a wedding when you’re single may have you wondering about when you’ll meet Mr. or Mrs. Right, attending to someone through their divorce can prompt you to ask difficult questions about the state of your own marriage.
What’s more, not only can the risk of divorce spread from one couple to their friends or family, it can also affect relationships at least two degrees of separation away from the original couple who decided to divorce. In other words, you have a friend who tells you about his divorce. You then tell another friend about the breakdown of this marriage, which prompts the friend to think about -- and ultimately decide to -- file for divorce. In this way, say researchers, you have become a “carrier” of the divorce virus.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing? When I think about the person who has been trapped in an abusive marriage for years and now finally feels empowered to leave because he or she has a friend or family who can recommend a good divorce lawyer and give a feel for what to expect, I say this is one virus that some of us shouldn’t mind catching.
In addition to what researchers found, I would also add some interesting patterns I’ve picked up on as a practicing divorce attorney in New Jersey. Much is made about the uptick in divorce filings right after the beginning of the New Year, likely because many people have made a resolution to not stay another year in a bad relationship.
This can be true, but we also see other cyclical patterns, including couples with young children willing to do anything to have their divorce squared away by the end of summer, especially before the beginning of the school year, in order to reduce the disruption for their children. This is one of the main reasons why divorce attorneys can be busier than ever over the summer months! On the flip side, we also have couples with older children who wait until after their children have hit certain milestones, whether it’s finishing college or getting married, before they decide to end things.
If you are going through a divorce right now, does all this mean you should consider yourself ill? Absolutely not. Divorce virus or not, for so many of the people I work with, I don’t have to be a doctor to see that getting divorced is often the first step towards true healing in their lives.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Bari Zell Weinberger, Esq.
Bari Zell Weinberger is the Founding Member, Owner and Managing Partner of Weinberger Law Group, a law practice exclusively devoted to divorce and family law related matters throughout New Jersey. Weinberger Law Group has law offices in Parsippany and Freehold. The firm's success is tied directly to its dedication to providing clients with total commitment, total care and total support. Our lawyer's objective is to pay as much attention to our clients’ emotional needs as we do to their legal and financial interests.
Copyright Weinberger Law Group LLC - Google+
More information about Weinberger Law Group LLC
Disclaimer: While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of this publication, it is not intended to provide legal advice as individual situations will differ and should be discussed with an expert and/or lawyer. For specific technical or legal advice on the information provided and related topics, please contact the author.
Does divorce work the same way? Some sociologists have begun looking into divorce patterns among families and other close-knit social networks (both offline and online) to find out why when one family or social network member announces his or her divorce, it’s likely that within a year, other members of the same social group will follow suit. In other words, is divorce contagious?
The family used as a prime example of this “divorce virus” phenomenon is none other than Al and Tipper Gore and their children. If you recall, the former Vice President and his wife stunned the nation in 2010 when it was announced they were ending their 40 year marriage. However, this wasn’t the first divorce in the Gore family. Just one year earlier, their daughter Kristin Gore filed for divorce from her husband Paul Cusack. And it wasn’t the last divorce, either. Just one week after Tipper and Al announced their split, eldest daughter Karenna Gore Schiff, announced that she had separated from husband Andrew Schiff after 13 years of marriage.
Analyzing data from 5,000 people, a research team made up of scientists from UC San Diego, Harvard, and Brown universities say there are several reasons why divorces can create ripple effects or patterns within families or social networks. For example, when a divorced person confides in someone married, the married person gains knowledge about the benefits and drawbacks of divorce, and how exactly the process works. (In their study, interestingly, most people actually cited the benefits of getting divorced rather than drawbacks.)
It may also be the case that when a coworker, friend, or family member announces their divorce, it brings the topic into sharper focus. Just like attending a wedding when you’re single may have you wondering about when you’ll meet Mr. or Mrs. Right, attending to someone through their divorce can prompt you to ask difficult questions about the state of your own marriage.
What’s more, not only can the risk of divorce spread from one couple to their friends or family, it can also affect relationships at least two degrees of separation away from the original couple who decided to divorce. In other words, you have a friend who tells you about his divorce. You then tell another friend about the breakdown of this marriage, which prompts the friend to think about -- and ultimately decide to -- file for divorce. In this way, say researchers, you have become a “carrier” of the divorce virus.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing? When I think about the person who has been trapped in an abusive marriage for years and now finally feels empowered to leave because he or she has a friend or family who can recommend a good divorce lawyer and give a feel for what to expect, I say this is one virus that some of us shouldn’t mind catching.
In addition to what researchers found, I would also add some interesting patterns I’ve picked up on as a practicing divorce attorney in New Jersey. Much is made about the uptick in divorce filings right after the beginning of the New Year, likely because many people have made a resolution to not stay another year in a bad relationship.
This can be true, but we also see other cyclical patterns, including couples with young children willing to do anything to have their divorce squared away by the end of summer, especially before the beginning of the school year, in order to reduce the disruption for their children. This is one of the main reasons why divorce attorneys can be busier than ever over the summer months! On the flip side, we also have couples with older children who wait until after their children have hit certain milestones, whether it’s finishing college or getting married, before they decide to end things.
If you are going through a divorce right now, does all this mean you should consider yourself ill? Absolutely not. Divorce virus or not, for so many of the people I work with, I don’t have to be a doctor to see that getting divorced is often the first step towards true healing in their lives.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Bari Zell Weinberger, Esq.
Bari Zell Weinberger is the Founding Member, Owner and Managing Partner of Weinberger Law Group, a law practice exclusively devoted to divorce and family law related matters throughout New Jersey. Weinberger Law Group has law offices in Parsippany and Freehold. The firm's success is tied directly to its dedication to providing clients with total commitment, total care and total support. Our lawyer's objective is to pay as much attention to our clients’ emotional needs as we do to their legal and financial interests.
Copyright Weinberger Law Group LLC - Google+
More information about Weinberger Law Group LLC
View all articles published by Weinberger Law Group LLC
Disclaimer: While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of this publication, it is not intended to provide legal advice as individual situations will differ and should be discussed with an expert and/or lawyer. For specific technical or legal advice on the information provided and related topics, please contact the author.
